My Coming Out Post

This has already been shared on Facebook and Reddit, but I figured “hey, might as well save it to the blog.” I’m sure I’ll be glad I did one day.

(Yes, I know I’ve already shared the above picture, but it’s the one I used for the post–gotta be diligent in my self-archived history!)


Yup, it’s exactly what it looks like.

But just in case it’s not yet clear enough, I invite you to the following link (I’ll wait for you to come back): Actually, feel free to keep it open in the background on loop—it’s a good soundtrack for this post. Just make sure it’s quiet enough that you can read the rest of it. (Note, in case the link no longer works in the future: the song is Kesha–“Woman”)

I’ve turned this post over in my head day after night after day after night for the better part of a year, knowing full well that it would be my bridge of no return. At first, I thought its tone would be one of sorrow, shame, and penance. Later, it became one of resentment and anger. Now, though, I’ve come to see that it could and should only ever have been one thing: celebration.

I’m transgender. I’ve been transitioning for nearly a year now. My name is Mila Renae, and my pronouns are she/her.

Many, perhaps even most, of you already knew this. Some have known for a while, some learned just recently, and for the rest of you, this is the first you’re hearing of it. Regardless of who you are, hi. If you’re still on my friends list, it’s because I must like you or something.

Some of you I’ve known my whole life.

Some of you I met once ten years ago.

A few of you I’ve never really even met.

Most of you fall somewhere in between.

I don’t care who you are. I hope we can be friends. Well, as long as you’re not an asshole. In that case, go ahead and unfriend me. Alternatively, just give me a sign, and I’ll do it for you 😘

I know this might seem sudden, but I promise you, it isn’t: I’ve felt this way my whole life. Want to learn more? Try reading my blog (–I started it May 2017, when I started to actually come to grips with things, but it gives an (all over the place) account of what I’ve dealt with since I was a child. People tell me it has helped them better understand.

Reading not your thing? Ask me anything. Seriously. I guarantee you I’ve already been asked before. Just do me a flavor: if it warrants it, make it a direct message. I trust your judgment.

I’ll go ahead and answer the first one people usually have here: Naomi and I are no longer together. Not romantically, anyway. You see, I’m still only into girls, but she still only likes guys, so…yeah. That said, she is still my best friend, and has been an absolutely critical support for me. She’s an amazing human in every respect, and in all likelihood, I wouldn’t even be here were it not for her. Weirdly, we’re in a better place these days than we ever have been. Just as sisters now, which is frankly awesome.

Not to take away from my blood sister, though (which is definitely the most metal type of sisterhood). Sam has also been every bit as important to me, and even though she’s four years younger than me, I sort of look up to her. YES REALLY, SHUT UP.

There’s so many more of you, but you didn’t subscribe to my Patreon, so…

Just kidding. You know who you are, and I love you. But brevity is the soul of wit, right? And this is already so long.

Oh, and some of you are current or former students of mine. First of all, hey guys. I love being your teacher. Second of all, feel free to share this news with returning students for next semester. It’ll save me some of the awkwardness on the first day of Fall 2019 😅

Anyway, I’m in a better place now than I ever have been. I lost over 30 lbs over the course of the past year, going from a men’s large to a women’s small/medium, so that’s pretty cool. And I’m happy. Like, really happy. So that’s even cooler.

I’m so excited for today, tomorrow, and every day thereafter. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

P.S. To those of you who bullied me in K-12: suck it.

2 Replies to “My Coming Out Post”

  1. Just a random stranger passing by, but I wanted to say I hope you get enthusiastic acceptance and support from the people in your life. Life is easier when you can be your authentic self and be loved for it, for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for stopping by! I actually did–way better than I would’ve ever expected. I actually wrote about it in my last post :3 I really appreciate it–life has honestly never been better.

      Liked by 1 person

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